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"Alice at the Mad Hatter's tea party." — Illustration to the fifth chapter of 'Alice in Wonderland' by John Tenniel. (Wood engraving by Thomas Dalziel.)

Instead of pulling out and protesting, my advice to the tea baggers who can’t afford the expense ($549 per ticket and a $9.95 fee, plus hotel and airfare) of attending, in person, next month’s national tea-bagging convention is to use your new-found free time to simmer down your boiling kettle of blind populist rage for a sec, take a deep breath, and, using the rational (as opposed to emotional) part of your brain, wonder for a brief moment whether you’re being taken advantage of by this alleged movement you find yourself now steeped in.

Could it be possible, for instance, that you and your fellow hardworking, middle-class friends and family are not actually part of a grass-roots political movement, but instead have been co-opted by certain entrenched corporate interests (e.g., private health insurers, Wall Street investment banks, etc.) and their lobbying arms that are, for purely profit-driven reasons, diametrically opposed to the changes that were promised by the Obama campaign?

And could it be possible that these entrenched corporate interests were paying close, close attention when, last spring, then candidate Obama lost the West Virginia and Kentucky Democratic primaries by staggering margins, due largely in part to the working class’s rejection of Pres. Obama as part of an “elite” class (as argued vigorously by the campaign staff of a certain nameless Sec’y of State), and that they (i.e., the entrenched corporate interests) realized that, once Pres. Obama took office, they could easily whip the working class into a frenzy (mostly by spreading demonstrably false lies) as the best (and, as it happens, cheapest) means of impeding the progress promised by his campaign? (They may have considered taking advantage of some of your prejudices and social phobias as well, but there’s no need to get into that.)

And could it be possible that a certain national media outlet might see in all of this deliberate orchestration a perfect opportunity to further saturate the marketplace of vitriol and spite that masquerades as a legitimate source of information on an otherwise bland, apolitical array of overpriced cable-television programming? 

And could it be possible that your hero, who abruptly resigned her governorship last summer so she could spend her prime as a full-time celebrity and who now commands an impressive six-figure speaking fee (including at your tea bag convention), only truly cares about getting filthy rich off your simple-minded rage – and now counts on your slavish devotion to her professed Christianism and folksy geopolitical and macroeconomic ignorance as her and her brood’s meal ticket in perpetuity?

Right now, all I ask is that you wonder whether any of these circumstances are merely possible (not probable or likely). If you think they may be, congratulations, you’re on your way back to deserving the right to vote for our elected leaders.